What we say, is not what we mean....

It has been a phenomenon.. But, I believe it's a human nature.. People talk to themselves more than they to each other.. And most of what they say to themselves is different from what they tell you or tell one another... But, when they start telling you what they exactly tell themselves, we say that they "opened up".

Have you been texting and you typed "lol" just because you had nothing to say or to lighten the load of a potentially aggressive message? Have you been asked for how have you been and you just replied "I'm fine, thanks" or "I'm good, thank God." or "Elhamdolillah" while you don't feel good at all? Are you really thankful as you say? Do you even mean it while saying "Thank God" or "Elhamdolillah"? It is not only you... People tend to conceal their weaknesses and hide their wounds by just telling the answers that would satisfy the question asked, without revealing their state of being or what they really feel... They may even feel bad already when they share it with themselves.

Our ego and pride, as well as mistrust of our surrounding communities, prevent us from opening up to others. Our doubts of being accepted by others build up walls between us and them. When you open up, you are just revealing part of the "Real you". The "Real You" that may be, to some extent, you are ashamed of and/ or you cannot accept being that person. Or you reject being in that state(s) and circumstances that collectively and eventually contribute to the person you are at this very moment. That's why I think that it is so courageous to speak up your joys, sorrows, dreams, fears, desires and defeats.

Usually, we open up when we are secure enough, and trust that we are accepted and valued for who we are. That is where, and among whom, we find comfort. I bet you tried that feeling before.

Now, ask yourself, how many times you made people insecure or unconfident of who they are or what they are capable of. Be sure that, every time you made someone feeling no good about themselves you contributed to soul destruction.

Be kind to yourself. Be kind to others, specially the unkind. For the unkind need your kindness the most. You never know what they passed through, nor the scares life left in their hearts, that made them who they are today. May be you are the small little window that gets sunshine into their dark cold hearts. May be you will develop to be their first experience of kindness. Just stop focusing on yourself worthiness and avoid being egocentric looking for rewards for what you do to others. For you were granted a lot of things that you deny them being blessings and you accept them as givens in your life.

Be true to yourself. And be true to others. Tell them what you feel about them. Speak about them to them. Tell them how great they are and how they inspire you. May be what you say shall be the cool glass of water they drink along their walk in the desert of life that day. Yet, keep honesty and truthfulness as keys of everything you say and do.

Be genuine. Express your real feelings. People are delighted when they feel trusted. Ask for their opinion and discuss it with them. Be sure, you are giving them a gift by doing so. Yet, remember to listen more than you speak. Listen with love and compassion. Every one of us is struggling life, and even the strongest needs a shoulder to cry on.

May you have truth in heart and life.

Be blessed,

Andy!

- We type “lol” to but we don’t even smile while typing it, we say “inshallah” to avoid committing to a word and we say “Elhamdulillah” to conceal our broken hearts.

- May be you are the small little window that gets sunshine into their dark cold hearts. May be you will develop to be their first experience of kindness.

- It is so courageous to speak up your joys, sorrows, dreams, fears, desires and defeats.